DeafAmanda

I am holding that paintbrush

September 7, 2024

#MeToo

TRIGGER WARNING – Please don’t continue if this is triggering. I am sharing some personal experiences that I have gone though that might be difficult for you to read. I am sending you with love and understanding that no one should have to go through this.

This is my story. This is not the race to see who has the most abuses experiences ever. I’m just speaking of my own experience, my stories, and my truth, that I’ve picked from my past to share.

One of my children asked me a very old question that has been asked for years. Who would you rather to be around in the middle of no-where, a bear or a guy? I answered, a male. The face of my child’s with my answer drained the color.

If you’ve asked me when I was 16 years old, I would’ve said Bear.

I’ve gone through so much in 40 years of my life. (At the time of the writing, I am only 40 and my birthday is in few days. Birthday was August 2nd.) I’ve been sexual assaulted, raped, beaten up, verbal abuse, mental abuse, audism abuse, emotionally abuse, financial abuse, and I was victim of bullied. I just learned that there is a passive abuse so add that to the list. There is a chance of spiritual abuse but I can’t confirm. I have got to the point that I didn’t know what was abuse and what was not. Yes, I am saying I have been brainwashed.

Here is the link for the more information that Deaf people actually experience more abuses than hearing people. <- Click for link if you want to know more.

There was SO many people involved around me that was teaching me that this was not right. I had lost my belief. The core of identity of who I am as a person. I have gotten to the point I didn’t trust myself and/or any one around me. Literally. What kept me going was my children. My kids are the reasons I am still breathing today. I want to make sure they are protected and guide to the right path in life and my sincere hope for them is that they didn’t go through what I’ve gone through.

At age of 8, I was taking the school bus to a nearby Deaf school that I’ve gone to all my life. I’ve friended with all kind of ages of the students. The school I was attending was teaching kids from pre-k all the way to high school. This friend of mine was a Black, deaf male who seemed really chill guy. We talked daily during the school ride. One day, he decided to show up at the door and my sister, K answered. I was caught attention by my sister saying there was a person that was for me. At my house door, there was a hallway stairs right out of my house that you see in tv, I was basically in the house but outside of my home if that makes sense. I was at the bottom of the stairs and we just chatted for good few minutes. Being 8, I knew nothing about dating world or even having interests in other people being more than a friend. I had no idea that he was interested in me. I was assaulted by his making out with me and grabbing my bum without my permission. I remember feeling that was wrong and it didn’t sit right with me. I was confused. I had no idea what that was. It was messing with my head for a bit. I honestly can’t remember how I “escape” from that situation. I remember sharing this situation with my sister. My sister told me to tell this guy to stop so I did exactly that the next day. After that, he stopped but we remained friends.

I brush it off eventually and forgot about it but it is possibility that it was the beginning of my acting out, my distrust in others, and a burden of holding that secret because at the time, my mother had no idea. (To my knowledge.) I really did forgot about this whole situation until high school when someone mentioned they were also assaulted by the same person. Once we had that talk and it wasn’t discussed again after that. A friend who was also assaulted happen to see his obituary, which made her hunt down to figure out what have happen. She told me that he had some medical that came up which require him rushing to hospital but he didn’t make it. For me, it trigger the memory that was in a file in the back of my head bringing it to the frontal memory as I stare it happening in front of my eyes. I was able to sit with it and acknowledge that it wasn’t my fault at all. I was a kid. I had no idea. I was only 8 years old. That fault falls to this guy. I left it as that.

At age 15 or 16 until I was in my 20s, I became friends with over 50 people in yahoo chat that was popular during at that time. I felt I was pretty known in that room and it was going well. This one guy who I befriended with was struggling with his own relationship so I talked with him to help him in moving forward. I was meeting people off the internet regularly and I didn’t have any issues. My school was opening to public by displaying their drama, I believe it was called, “Fiddler on the Roof” so I invited people to see if we could generate some money and to help my school. He was only one out of crazy amount of people that I known in that yahoo chatroom to show up. He was approx 9 years older than me and we did have relationship at one point. This guy was a toxic white hearing male who plays emotions smooth-talker game. Out of all the relationships I had, he was the one that have cause the most traumatic experience. I have experienced mental, emotional and verbal abuse along with him throwing me in the jail for something I never did out of revenge because I called the police on him. He did have pills all over the kitchen table and he was intoxicated passed out with pills around him on the floor. So what was I suppose to think when I walked into the house seeing him in that state with my deaf best friend. Of course, call the damn 911 and that exactly what I did. Remember, he’s 9 years older than me and I was barely turn 18 at the time. The police came in, dumped the pills and talked with him. I collected my items and left the house with my best friend knowing this guy is in good hands of the police.

So when I got arrested few weeks later, I was in jail for only few hours because I made the ONE right call I was permitted to have. My best friend’s mother demanded that I was seen by the judge and to have me out of the jail. After talking to the judge what have happened and explaining the whole situation, by his order to put restraining order, I followed and did what I had to do. My abuser did not like that and hired himself a lawyer to slam the restraining order back on me. Anyway, his lawyer actually told me that they wish they have represented me after having a few quick chat with my mother then me when he put the stories pieces together of what have happened. This abuser is 6’2 tall probably and could weigh around 250ish while I was only barely a hair under of 5 foot tall weighing at 110 pounds. This dude claim I abused him by throwing the plate at him while that is not true. I actually slid the plate across the table which cause the spaghetti sauce got on his sleeve somehow. On that same day, he screamed behind me, throwing things, and banging his head on the wall due to the fact I wanted to go home to my mother who I didn’t see for a week or so. I missed her and I wanted to see my mother. I’ve dealt with his suicidal behavior, stalking, cyber-stalking, and smooth-talk his way into my world turning against me. Today, this name that belongs to him and is very common name, I cannot say that name out loud. It sends a fear down to my spine and I get choked up. It doesn’t matter if that name was belong to anyone else, I still cannot say that name. I have came up with nick-name that I can only say when I speak of him and those who knows the whole situation knows which abuser I spoke of.

The people that I grew up with actually did not believe my story and you have to imagine the day I made that hardest decision of my life was walking away from my… MY own identity as a deaf person. Even as right now, talking to Deaf people again, I’m shaky. Scare. Terrified. The reason I’m feeling these emotions is past could haunt me and hurt me again. BUT THAT (Deaf Identity) is my identity. I’m in the constant battle-ground with myself.

Back to that decision-making to walk away when I was maybe 20 years old, my husband at the time saw my world crumbled. He was on my side and told me he would stand by me and walk with me. I’ve never cried so hard like that day again after that when I made that decision. I cried until there was no liquid anywhere in my body and my body shook violently. My heart was ripped out of my chest as I stare at my children knowing I had to make that decision. My children is my world and I cannot put them in danger. The whole drama that this event part of my life that it holds have to stop. I knew I cannot be a best mom if I continue being constant fighting with people for my truth. I had to walk away. That was … hard. My world truly crushed. As I type at the moment, I’m in tears. For those who actually did not believe me during that time and comes running to me years later trying to apologize. I am sorry to tell you “NO thanks, you will NOT apologize. YOU have NO idea what you have done. “

I’m going to state that I do acknowledge that the behavior he have done belongs to him. Whatever I did as a teen, I was a damn teenager and I had no idea what I was looking at. This dude was 9 years older than me AND BY the way, he did know my actual age. I did NOT hide that fact from him. He did go to my school seeing other kids there. He knew I was a student there. He should have known better not to get involve with children who were under 18.

One last thing, I didn’t graduated high school because of that guy. I actually did not feel safe in that school because the staff admitted they couldn’t do more to protect me. And the bullying in that school was already bad enough but that stalking push over the edge is the reason why I walked away. So to the schools, DO better.

To the people who believes my stories which are VERY few people stood by my side, all I can say is Thank you. It means more than you ever know.

So, with the question above, I’ve already gone through them. I survived so what the 5th or 6th person going to do to me because I have been abused in so many ways and I’m still here. Bear is huge and very strong. I am no match for the bear. The bear is probably going to see me as their meal while more likely, the human doesn’t. The human is going to want me to cook their meal and clean the house.

With the writing of this post, it has took several days adding, removing and editing. It is hardest post to write. I’m sharing some heavy stuff. There are more abuses that I’ve dealt with but this pretty much paint the picture of what abuse could do to the person and the mental state that could put the person into.

When you say hello, you have NO idea what that person had gone thru few seconds ago, a few minutes ago, an hour or even yesterday. Don’t forget last week or even a month ago. Lets not forget there might be something in their past that they’re holding a heavy burden secret that are heavy weight. Every journey is different. Every experience, and every emotions that the person had gone thru – you have no idea.

Please stay kind.

To those who actually gone thru something huge, please know that you are valid.

I am still holding that paintbrush …
Family Definition at a Crossroad: Insights and New Directions

September 1, 2024

As summer ends and cold temperature will be here before we know it. Today, I’ve been reflecting on the definition of “family” in light of the upcoming holidays.

According to Google, family is defined as “a group of people related to one another by blood or marriage” and can also refer to “friends and family who provide support.”

Unfortunately, I don’t feel supported by many family members. Instead, I often encounter with silence until they wanted something from me, ghosting, criticism without constructive guidance, a dismissive ‘I know what I’m talking about’ attitude, eye-rolling, and comments like ‘you should have listened,’ all accompanied by a general negative vibe. Many people have doubted the stories I’ve shared, but when they see the evidence I present, their attitude shifts.

I have became fearful, unsure, low self-esteem, outspoken, frustrated, not being heard, very angry, rebellion, repeated the cycle of the same-ness situation that seem to be showing up over and over during my growing up. Honestly, looking back at my past, I dislike her so much to the point, it disgust me looking at myself in the mirror. However, I also recognize that some of my past behavior was understandable given the circumstances.

I know I am a human being and mistakes will be and has been made.

What I know now moving forward, I am and I have been making a lot of progress in my personal growth. In my previous state, I had an amazing support system. There was several different people sat down with me bringing certain things about me or the situation to my attention saying that isn’t right. Here what you can do if this is something you would like to do and they gave me options. What I discovered about myself is to talk them out then seeing what fits me best helps to shape my choices that I was willing to make. Understanding my past self has helped me identify behaviors I want to avoid.

So, as a supporter to myself and to my children, and as a family unit, I am taking what I know now and continuing moving forward, making an effort to become a better person both to those around me and in the cyber world and to be a better Momma. I plan to hold myself accountable and recognize that change is an ongoing process. I understand that evolving and improving is a continuous journey.

It’s never too late to make changes, regardless of your age. I want to encourage everyone to reflect on what type of person they want to be and consider the changes they are willing to make for themselves and those around them.
What do I like of myself?

August 27, 2024

I will admit, I looked around to see what would be a great question to answer and this shows up. Ooh. That is a tough question.

My immediate answer is: Momma.

I can’t exactly remember how old I was when I someday wanted to be a Mom and I actually grew up thinking I wouldn’t be a Mom. I always believe that I wasn’t on anybody radar to be a friend with. Well, I have two beautiful children and I had almost 20 years relationship with this guy who is no longer in my life today. I thank him wholeheartedly for giving me two beautiful children. (Note: I want to acknowledge the parenting of the children upbringing, I cannot speak for him. I can only speak for myself and me only. ) My children are so different from each other and they have some same interests. Their relationships with each other is something I am so proud of because they have stronger relationship with each other than I had with some of my sisters. Its like… I did that. I have had people coming to me saying “Wow, your children are so polite. How did you do that?” Well, I was their role model and I had to display whatever I say, I show the same. For example if I tell my children not to swear then I don’t do it either. You know the motto “Monkey Sees, Monkey Do” I actually made it to my own, “Kids Sees, Kids Do.” and that motto for me worked.

I also applied / poured into my children that quote and they would rolls their eyes at me when they got to pre-teen ages but they still applied it to their life today “Treat Others The Way You Wanted To Be Treated.” I really poured so much of that because I was badly bullied growing up and I tolerated none of that from my children. My children are VERY aware because they did test me and regretted that decision.

Everyone is unique in your own way. Whatever weakest may be someone else’s strongest may help you, and teaches you. Your strongest skills may help others and use that to teach them. That is another one I applied on my children.

So, back to the question, What I like about myself. Ha. Umm. For a long time, I’ve been told I was non-judgemental person but a uptight person. Well, I was uptight because I was being bullied about what I looked like, my upbringing, I was liar, I was paranoid, I was this and that. No one seems to understand I am who I am. There were many times I wasn’t lying. I was only speaking of my own truth and what I saw. I may hear things differently or saw something that you guys did not see. Of course, I may read things (body language, the situation, and of course, conversation) differently than you would have. I am me. Now I sound dumb because I now ask for clarify on things. I now trying to stop assuming things. “Oh, You Know” No I don’t know because your experiences and your point of view is largely different than mine. I don’t know. I want YOU to tell me. So yea, I sounded stupid but honestly, at this point of my life, I don’t care if I sounded that way because I am learning.

I had very limited social life for several years so I was pretty shut off from the world because I either choose to and/or I had limited choices at that time of my life. Social skills are something I will openly admit, I suck. at. it. And I need help. I’m learning daily. As a Deaf person, I can speak but I don’t know how to start the conversation sometimes and/or even control the conversation. I’m just awkward in that area. I’m noticing in the past few couple years but more so, recently now speaking to people outside of my home that I was not very clear on what I wanted to say. I am noticing that I was half-clear and it has cause several misunderstanding which I take accountability for. I do wish people have bring it to my attention. I would very much like people to WANT to clarify things with me to make sure that we are on the same page.

So, what do I like about myself – again, its Mom. I dealt with so much bullying in my childhood from school and even at home. I felt I was pretty push aside at home and events that we, as a family, went to. I am the fifth child and the baby of the five girls so its understandable that they had their lives. As a fifth child, there are several things that I strongly believe plays roles in my relationships and honestly, that shouldn’t have been the reasons. There is good chance that it wasn’t intent to be that way but on my end, I see it daily. Even my own children sees something was off in my relationships and they came to me with their own feelings which validate so much of my growing up. When I expressed those feelings and I was told, that was all in my head and yet, my own children are feeling the same exact emotions I felt. I’ll openly say that I actually cried for them and for myself for dealing with this and we should not have to.

I was searching my own identity. I really did have that black hole .. uhh, a missing puzzle piece that I felt was big enough – bigger than me that I felt was needed to be answered. Few years ago, I found that puzzle piece and I’m happy to report that I felt more calmer. Questions around that piece has the 75 percent answered but if those 25 percent wouldn’t be answered in my lifetime, that is okay because the big question I was searching for is done. Thank you DNA.

Umm.. So, what do I like about myself – ha. I’m just another human being. I’m no one special. Why do anyone wants to hang with me? Honestly, I don’t know. So yea, family and friends – Surprise. I do feel this strongly about myself. This is partly why I’m here away from home to discover myself and I’m on a journey to find me as me. I don’t need my childhood BS to control me. The drama is crap. Seriously, why upset on every bitty things. Spending time with someone you love should be more than that. The anger and the hidden truth … it steals the person and keeping them from who they could have become. It has stole me. For a long time. But I will not deal with the BS. I’m so done with that.

I’m learning to listen more. I’m trying so hard to keep my mouth shut and listen. That is SO much needed in the today world. There are so many people seeking validation. I’m one of them. I admit.

I’m going to stop right now. I’m feeling a lot right now. To my family and friends, I love you. To my children, you are the reason I am still breathing today to the deepest core of my being. ❤ I am proud to be your Momma. I love you.
Beautiful soul to walk on earth,

August 18, 2024

My Friend, Laura have came in my life when she walked into the classroom I was in during high school days. Now, in the Deaf school that I was attending, everybody knows everybody so if there is a new person comes in, we immediately know about it. There is no secret so if you tries to hide a secret, good luck maintaining that unless you kept your mouth shut or in this case, don’t use sign language anywhere in that building or to anybody. You know the saying, in the small town, there are no secrets because somebody knows something, it is pretty almost identical in the Deaf school environment.

My immediate judgement of her book-cover was that she was quiet but a little snob. As a high schooler, I would get information from other friends pretty much bad-mouthing about her and things that she have done to other friends, I didn’t agreed with. After that, I stay polite but pretty much stayed away from her. That is pretty much the extend of my friendship during high school.

Years goes by, Laura was dating with this guy who happen to have same name as my former-husband, Daniel. I actually do not remember if I start talking to her again before or after I had my 2nd child but I’m starting to believe it was after I had my 2nd child. I was married at the time. Laura was trying to form a family of her own at the time. We somehow linked up through social media and just started talking through private messages.

Laura living in Florida while I pretty much bouncing between states because of my husband’s (at the time) work, so without listing them all, I’ll list the last two, Massachusetts which is east coast of USA, then currently, in Illinois are in central-ish northern part of USA. My divorce to my husband has happened in Massachusetts and I personally decided to move to Illinois. Anyway, before Laura and I became close, we had to clear up some air to have a better understanding what happen during the high school days. Once we did that and shortly after, Laura and I were faced with some heavy life stuff ourselves and we just happen to be there during those moments. We share many comforts in knowing that we journey certain things in life together miles apart and experiencing them unexpectedly months of each other. There was some hardships, laughing moments, crying, sadness, smiling, memory down the lane stories, in your face truth, feedbacks, opinions, motherly nagging being thrown in there somewhere, hard decisions making, and honestly, I cannot ask a better friend than Laura. This beautiful soul, Laura experienced her own pregnancies, and birth of her children and the life trials was thrown at her is something I would admire her for, the bravery and the struggle to keep putting one foot in front of another.

Laura and I tried our own home-businesses personally to try to create some money flow. We tried our couponing website together when it becomes a big thing during that time. There was death in families, animals we love, and school staffs/students since high school days – we were able to be there when we could in the cyber world. Laura kept in touch with certain people from the school days start to realized that Laura has a direct contact with me, trying to reach me which I choose to denied my relationship with these people. Laura and I can go for months without contact then linked up like we had been chatting daily all along.

Laura and I in summer, 2015 while my mini-family stopped by during our trip to Disney.

I was honestly stunned and surprise to find out I was invited to Laura and Justin’s wedding. And to find out I was the only person from the school to be invited, I was floored. For some reason, I always thought she had a stronger friendship relationship with someone else and I wouldn’t be invited. It is something that I personally struggle with because I’ve always felt I wasn’t a great friend to anyone. So being asked was a great honor to attend and witness the most treasure moment between two beautiful people becoming as one will not be something I would forget.

First thing first, Thank you, Laura, for being there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry after discovering a beautiful human being has passed away during my traveling and giving me the hugs I most needed when I arrived. That was totally unexpected news to receive during my traveling. I love you, Laura. Thank you. The wedding itself was beautiful. It was done in a local galaxy space and their set up was perfect. Laura’s dress was perfect. Laura was beautiful. I must say Justin was very handsome. I am very glad to meet Justin in person and see what he is like. I can see why Laura is in love and I’m .. I can’t put it in words because from what I saw in Laura in high school days then pre-wedding seeing her being in love is … word-less, but galaxy of priceless sight to see. Those giggles you both share. Hand holding moments. Just beautiful. It is something I would forever cherish the memory input in my brain.

I thank you Laura and I’m truly am bless to have you in my life being my best friend. I treasure you and I appreciate you. I love you, Laura.

With Love,
August 2024

August 14, 2024

Hello Readers,

My children and I have moved into another apartment. It was very exhausting to transferring our things, our bills, cancelling certain companies, packing and unpacking, and making some runs. I ended up in the Emergency Room in the hospital during moving day, and I am okay and recovering. My children are completely fine. The cats, Ash and Calcifer are doing extremely well at the moment. It took about couple days before the kitties realized they are home and they’re not going anywhere.

August 6, 2024 – Before the move

Those two are like the best buds and would go near each other whenever they’re nervous. Right now, they are lounging somewhere.

Here is Ash post-move.

Look at that face! ❤

Just wanted to give you guys a quick update before I go back to more unpacking and I’m still working on few things. I will be back when I can. Have a safe summer, everyone.

Until then,
Birthday Spark

July 31, 2024

It’s ‘I Am Me’s’ special day on August 2nd! Join us as we celebrate the journey and look forward to even greater adventures ahead!

2016 photo of me with my Dunkin’ Donuts birthday drink.
Thank you Dunkin’

With Love,
City Rain Perfumed Memories

July 25, 2024

I was living in Providence, Rhode Island as a small child at the time. The murky yellow and icky brown colored apartment was at the intersection.

We hear sirens constantly to the point where they becomes a background noise. Cars, motorcycles, buses, and random trucks becoming comforting because it entertaining me by watching people doing their thing. I do remember hating motorcycles because how loud they could get in the summer; I am fascinated by the motorcycle artwork designs. There were constant foot traffic on the sidewalk below because there was a convenience store underneath of my apartment. There were a Fish and Chip restaurant at the another side of the intersection that we would order dinner there whenever my mother was not in the mood to cook which is very rare for us. Occasionally, we would hear airplanes, and helicopters flying above us from the nearby airports.

On rainy days, the street would sometimes oddly quiet down. The smell of the rain was refreshing during summer, yet at the same time gloomy. As a child, I wasn’t allowed to play outside in the rain, but it provided a nice break from the humidity and heat since we didn’t have air conditioning; we relied on open windows for a cooling breeze. On sunny days, my sister, K and I would hook up the hose to cool ourselves down in the backyard and make games out of it.

Whenever the nature decide to pour rain in Providence, I would stand at bay window staring out of right side window for an hour or two. I’d be silent, watching the street below or into the distance, my mind just calmed to no thoughts at times. I would hunt down rain drops to watch, or the water overflowing from gutters from different houses, the impact of rain hitting the vehicles passing by or random rooftops. It capture my attention just watching while I can hear out of my hearing aids on how heavy to the lightness pour from the open sky.

There has been times my family would call my name several times until they had to shout to get my attention. The entrance of the house was maybe a foot away from me, so there has been visitors that came in without me noticing. The vibration, the sounds behind me, and whatever was happening behind me didn’t capture my attention until I look around me to see what was going on. I cannot count how many times I would ask what time it was and realized so much time had passed; It often feel like it was only 10 to 15 minutes. The rain has calming effects on me and that apartment is only place I can remember I would go into that zone.

Rainy night were the best. The gentle breeze and the cool night air helped to cool down the apartment. I enjoy rainy weather and would grin as I breathed in at bedtime.

Have you experience a moment like this with the raining zone?

Photo Credit – Photos posted here are not mine.
Play Arcade

July 24, 2024

I saw their store front window that being painted into 80s and 90s classic games. I looked inside and realized it is arcade. My mind went flying colors on who would love to walk into this amazing place.

Several months later, I walked in with my date for the first time and we were floored by amazing artwork and the classics that was on the walls, and the games. They had JAWS playing on the television for anyone who wants to watch. The music was lively. My date and I decided to sit down and have a meal first so I decided on a burger and fries while my date settled on pizza. We were thrilled with our foods and we couldn’t stop eating them after the food arrived. Seriously, look at those Tetris tots shapes! I love it!

That was on a date with a guy who helps me realizing that I was able to love someone again. This person is no longer in my life.

Here are few photos I took from different visits altogether.

Those signs are constant changes and I just love the greeting art.

Yoshi and Kirby! My two favorite characters!

Aero Fighters

Pac Man. Galaga.

After eating, we walked around and played some classic games. We were having a blast. There was some games that I have not seen for years and that was definitely nostalgic. I’m not going to spoil by detailing everything because I definitely want you there in person and experience the experiences like I did. I will share a few examples such as…They do have board games, and NES and other devices, you could play but have to ask bartender permission so there isn’t any overlap requests. Classic games such as Jenga, Clues, Monopoly and more. For the NES, MARIO BROTHERS! How can you not love those Mario Brothers. I did not have a chance to play NES and/or any other devices there because there is always someone using it.

The greeter, bartenders, the staff, the waitress were all friendly. Once they realized I am Deaf, they would try to accommodate communicate with me to the best of their ability.

After that day, I start bringing in different people and all were floored by this amazing place. Children would enjoy this space and I’ve seen people bring their little ones there. They seems greatly enjoyed as much as the adults did. I would stop in by myself to drink a glass or two every Fridays and without fail, those workers would greeted me with a wave and asked how my week were. Every week with their amazing creativity that I love, they would have drinks and foods themed to match.

Those poster, food and drink photos are owned by Play Arcade and this is one example of their drinks/food special for that week back in Jan, 2024. Look HOW good those looks!

All year, they have karaoke night, trivia night and few others events that they regularly host. I also want to add, they are largely supportive of a small businesses and I appreciate that whole heartedly.

In the summer, they have this beautiful balcony on their rooftop that looks over the city to the beautiful nearby ocean. Just pure beauty.

Photo Credit: Play Arcade

I cannot say enough about this and I do miss this place. I am no longer in the area anymore but whenever I’m in the area in the future, this is one of must-stop places to go.

This is in Massachusetts, USA in the city of New Bedford. So if you happen to be in the area, definitely check this place out.

Here are their link

I will be back, Play Arcade! ❤

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