DeafAmanda

There is a certain kind of hurt that is difficult to explain, especially when it comes from someone you never expected to hurt you.

Sometimes we say no because we are simply not ready to share something. We may not have the words, or we may not feel comfortable explaining ourselves yet. Whatever the reason, I believe that no should be enough.

I recently found myself in a situation where I chose not to share something and specifically asked that it not be shared with others. I trusted that my request would be respected, but it wasn’t. The information was shared anyway. What stayed with me was the feeling of betrayal, knowing that something I had trusted someone with and specifically asked them not to share was treated as though my wishes were optional.

That changed something for me. I became more careful about what I share and who I share it with. It doesn’t matter who someone is or how long I have known them. Family, friends, or anyone else, I have the right to decide what parts of my life I am comfortable sharing.

What followed made things even harder. My decision became something other people talked about, and eventually I was approached by someone trying to convince me to share something I had already said I wasn’t ready to share. I understood that people may have had questions, but my answer remained the same. I wasn’t ready.

Then I heard things I never expected to hear from someone I had known for so long. I was shocked and hurt. I reacted in the moment, then chose to walk away rather than continue the situation. Sometimes walking away is the only way to keep yourself from saying more than you really want to say.

I don’t want this to be about pointing fingers or naming anyone. It is about recognizing what happens when trust is broken and a simple boundary isn’t respected.

I am learning that I don’t owe anyone information simply because they want to know. If I say I am not ready to share something, that should be enough. It isn’t an invitation for someone else to ask around, involve others, or try to change my mind.

I never expected to have to walk away while standing firm on something that seemed so simple. But I wasn’t ready, and I shouldn’t have had to feel guilty for that.

Sometimes no really does need to be enough.