DeafAmanda

Tag: writing

  • Jonathan Taylor Thomas

    Jonathan Taylor Thomas

    Written June 29, 2024 and many versions later

    Jonathan,

    If you are reading this. First thing first, I want to apologize for using the public photographs and talking about you without your knowledge. This is something I felt was needed to write about and…

    Honestly, I don’t think you’ll ever read this. I would be stunned if this ever reach to you. Somehow.

    If this does reach you, Jonathan. Umm, I do hope I explain you well in the best of my ability. I don’t know if your going through something but I … I do hope this helps.

    (Throws my hands up in the air ) I guess this could turn into a form of a public letter or a letter/journal combo. I am not sure how this writing gonna go. While I am writing this, I am working on another post that I felt was needed. Once both posts are posted, I’ll add second post link here somewhere so it becomes easier for you to transfer to that post.

    I’m pretty sure my English is bad so please forgive me on that. I ask you to be aware that ASL is my primary language.

    Who is Jonathan?

    Jonathan was born on September 8, 1981 in Pennsylvania. He was well known in the tv show, “Home Improvement” as Randy, the middle child and was in different movies and tv shows such as Wild America, Tom and Huck, Man in the House, and was a voice of young Simba from classic movie “The Lion King.” I did not listed all of his work here but if you want to know what exactly he was in, you can google him. Jonathan was plastered all over the magazines in 1990s and early 2000 because he was one of the ” hot ” guys along with countless names which I am not listing it here.

    Jonathan Taylor Thomas got this beautiful dirty brown hair color that is a bit wavy and the blue eyes that matches the most sunniest day ever. Let me share the public photo of Jonathan as a child, so you have an idea who I am talking about.

    Home Improvement

    Throughout in the magazine interviews and the work he have done on screen, he stands out as one celebrity out of many that I could just sit on the hard wood floor and gaze at. You can say he capture the Law of Attraction aura that I just can’t get my eyes off him. His eyes has depth stories that are very mystery to me which would triggering my detective brain to investigate Jonathan’s emotions during at that moment. I have seen various articles on people chiming in on how deep thinker Jonathan was. I would love to have a personal conversation on variety of topics to see how similar or how different our own deep thinking is. Things he spoke of in his interviews are profound leaving my brain reeling on why he think that way and/or I’m just mind-blown because I am not in his shoes but it has change how I view things a little bit differently in a positive way.

    I have never met or seen him in public. I personally would like to meet him, but only on his term. I choose to give him that control because he has been harassed constantly. I am refusing to contribute to that. Jonathan has gone through more than enough. He deserve to be able to walk in public without the fear of being photograph. Just sayin’

    Before I continue this – other celebrity should have the same treatment who are just going to work and hope they did their job well. And lets not forget, they are human also who doing things to survive in this insane thing we call Earth.

    MY STORIES

    My Teen Years

    In my junior high years, the girls were all about “boys this” and “boys that” and I felt harassed by their constant questioning about who I liked. I hated that many girls were fan-girl over pretty much the same boys so I decided to go different route and noticed that no one seems to fan-girl over Jonathan.

    I was already watching him on Home Improvement and enjoyed the interaction between Tim Allen and Jonathan’s on screen. From what I saw of Jonathan acting as Randy, he was confident, and a little bit of bad-boy attitude. I did noticed out of three boys, Randy would make witty, book smart comments which I loved. Sometimes, when Tim Allen’s character say something that made me raise my eyes-brows and I made comment to myself something like, ” Your wife is gonna find out, Tim. Your going to get in trouble. ” then as Randy would comment something which has me laughing. I do remember rooting for Randy.

    I loved Jonathan’s creativity performances in Wild America and Tom and Huck, which made me enjoy the movies a lot. I love how naturally adaptable he went from family friendly role in Home Improvement to the portraying wild boys in two different directions – one modern while other was a classic old tale.

    As Jonathan starts to appeared in many magazines, the girls from the Deaf school doesn’t seem to struck by his looks and I was flabbergasted. I was made fun of for liking him, but all that bullying I’ve received has not changed my attraction toward Jonathan.

    THEN this happen,

    WOAH!

    Jonathan had his hair done and got more muscles tone that just make my brain went dumb and dumber. My jaw dropped at how beautiful he was.

    The more I learn about him, the more I realize we had different life goals, and I wasn’t the person he would fall in love with. But gawd, his looks is breathtaking and his inner-core matches that.

    He wanted to go to college in peace and wasn’t comfortable in crazy crowds. He disliked being followed and having people fan-girl over him. He just wanted to be at home and play with his friends like any other kid who just happen to be an actor.

    My Adult Years

    That one phrase Jonathan have said in one of his zillion interviews …..

    I can’t get that phrase out of my mind.

    I can tell you, Jonathan. It has change and shifted to the person I am today.

    Written on July 1, 2024

    There was some rummage through in my thoughts, my emotions, trying to remember my memories by hunting down magazines and looking through many pictures to understand why I felt the way I do today. I even had America sign language (ASL) conversation with a really good friend of mine. I found myself on Amazon and brought digital movies of Wild America and Tom and Huck movies to watch.

    My feelings toward Jonathan has not changed over the years, which I find somewhat insane. Even as an adult, he still carry that Law of Attraction aura in Last Man Standing. That blue eyes of yours … I am melting over here. I apologize, Jonathan. I have not seen Last Man Standing (Shocker, I know.) but ….

    Wait.

    A.

    Minute.

    I do recall someone in my family years ago pause at your picture during Last Man Standing and told me that it was you, Jonathan. I had to double-take and my jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe it was you because you’ve disappeared from the spotlight all these years and I remembered that you weren’t interested in the spotlight. It was definitely a rude-awakening seeing you on screen.

    Last Man Standing

    At the time, I saw the mixture of confidence and uncertainty during that brief moment before my small children pulled me away from the television. Personally, I wasn’t sure if it was just something I’m seeing wasn’t there. You still had that Law of Attraction spark. Then you disappeared again, which I oddly felt okay with. I was already busy with my own life being married (at the time) and two children who kept me busy. I do recall feeling relief seeing that you were okay.

    Your paparazzi photo from 2023 surfaced, and I actually had no idea until April, 2024 when it came across my web. My jaw dropped at how much you’ve changed. In April, I was preparing a week-long vacation and business combo trip with my oldest child, now 21 years old, so I didn’t think much about it.

    In June, 2024, your photo came up again and somehow this time, it had strike a emotion in me that I cannot seem to shake it off easily. What I saw was lack of confidence, signs of depression, anxiety, and uncertainty. It seemed that your goals and your dreams had vanished. After researching, I found people making comments that you didn’t seem happy. What I saw in those photos are not the same person I saw years ago which have confirmed my feelings.

    Here I am sitting on black chair, typing on my laptop, listening to random music blasting (I am legally Hard of Hearing so I was listening more toward beats. If I had already learned the lyrics of whatever particular song that comes on, I would sing with it off-key without a care in the world what my children and kitties thinks.) I had black pajama pant and a black t-shirt that has a big wording of “We create therefore we live ” then at the bottom of the big logo, it says “2011 GISH 2022. ” NOTE – GISH are no longer continued.

    I keep finding myself pausing too much through out this post trying to identify what I was feeling and figuring out what and/or how to share as I write this.

    Honestly, I just want to say thank you for having a huge… I mean insanely huge impact on me how to treat people as equal. I actually met few celebrities in recent years and they too made some impacts in their own way. You were my first impact.

    All I want to know if your okay. Are you okay, Jonathan?

    A vision in my dream world …

    If we don’t ever meet in this life. I am okay with it. We lead very different lives. This is just my dreamy vision of what I would like to happen – I thought it would be great just two of us sitting at the lake or beach somewhere. We wouldn’t have to talk; your company would be enough. Just knowing that your okay would mean the world to me. If you want to go fishing, that is fine by me because I know how much you love it. Personally, I enjoy just watching water movement, animals doing their own thang and the trees, the smell. It’s bliss – So photographic, peaceful, and calm.

    EDITED – I just posted the 2nd one so here it goes …

    Stay Well,

    TAKE NOTE: Photographs of Jonathan Taylor Thomas on this blog are not mine and I do not take ANY credits. The words I spoke here are mine.

  • Oh Ash

    Oh Ash

    Please come up with a best caption for this silliest moment of my Ash.

    Phone credit to my youngest.

    (( Burst in laughter )) I can’t. This is too funny!

  • My Chocolate Chip Cookies Journey

    My Chocolate Chip Cookies Journey

    I was playing with toys in the bedroom alone in a fort I’ve created using the closet door and the bunk bed mattresses with the blankets I took from my bed. I was seeking privacy because I have 4 older sisters who goes in and out of the bedrooms constantly. Just being alone. With my thoughts. With my emotions. With the memories. I propped barbies and kens in their places in whatever scene I had going at that time. The clothes were made from my mother’s handiwork. I was proud of them because some of them dresses were my secretly favorites. As soon as I open the blanket door, the smell was smacking my face with the sweet aroma of chocolate chip cookies. All that emotions, memories, thoughts, whatever plays that I had scene happening with the barbies totally disappeared and I run out of the room into the kitchen to see what my mom had whipped up because she is always whipping several different cookies happening at the same time.

    I tell you, she is amazing at making those cookies and she is fast like she got 8 arms happening. I would verbally asked her what she’s whipping up and she’ll tell me different names. I would always give her a eye-brows Huh? for certain cookies that I had no idea what they are. She would chuckle at my facial expression and tells me that I know these cookies because its pretty traditional cookies in my household. Only one I would understand out of the whole lists were the chocolate chip cookies. My eyes would beam like its eye-candies and my thoughts disappeared like it doesn’t mean anything. All I wanted was to get my hands on those chocolate chips cookies. Once it was made, I would run into the kitchen and ask my mother’s permission if I could have some then I would have thumb up or thumb down.

    As a young adult, I’ve created a very small family of a husband and 2 beautiful children. We have moved from New England States to the state of Oklahoma. At that time, I had no idea how to make any baking stuff but I’ve grew up watching my mother’s baking. As an adult, being so awkward in the kitchen, I really wanted to make the chocolate chip cookies for that first Christmas being away from home. I humble asked my mother for the recipe and discussed the recipe so I could do it well. I just tried my best as I could be. It took a very long time for me to finally complete the cookies because I had children under age of 4 which takes me away from the kitchen time to time and being so darn awkward at baking. I was honestly terrified that it would come out terrible. My oldest child and my partner had their eyes wide open and said it was really delicious. I took pride in that accomplishment because my growing children would repeatedly asked for that same cookies that I’ve grew up on. Short time later, I soon discovered that I had no idea how popular my chocolate chip cookies really are.

    After living in Oklahoma, my mini family went thru hardship and decided it was best to be near the family again so we start living in Massachusetts. Several years later, I instantly became homeless right before Christmas. I decided to make a cookies batch for a family who took me in their home as my thank you. The family have enjoyed the cookies so much that they asked for another batch. I was told I was dangerous because of how delicious it was.

    I was homeless for about a year or so, I have made few different cookies and the people at the homeless shelter mentioned how good the cookies were. I was permitted to leave for a overnight visit to a very good friend’s home and I’ve decided to whip up some of my chocolate chip cookies. At desert, my friends’ eyes widen open and made comments I’ve been hearing all along at how yummy it was.

    Several months later, I’ve became friends with a local barbershop owner so we were having a conversation about the topic of cookies. The owner made a comment on a person bringing in the cookies and how delicious it was. The more we talked, I became suspicious and told the owner that I believe it was my cookies that I’ve made. The poor owner was not believing me so I told him I’ll whip the cookies up and bring it in the next day.

    I kept my word and brought in a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies. After watching the owner take a bite, their eyes widened in disbelief as they recognized that the cookies I had brought in were actually mine. The owner looked at me and said, ” Yes! That is the cookies! ” Short time later, a worker came in and saw the cookies were sitting and asked if they could have a cookies themselves. I made a comment that I made it for everyone in that shop. They were SO excited to be able to have a piece and their eyes reminded me of my own childhood that everything disappeared from their brain as the eyes goes wide. They excitedly took a bite. The worker looked at me then at the owner in instant confusion. “This can’t be the same cookies.” The owner told that worker that I was the one who made cookies and the worker was also disbelief and stunned. After this, they’ve repeatedly asked me to make the same cookies because they couldn’t stop thinking about those cookies.

    Several months went by, the owner asked me to make a oatmeal cookies without the raisins in it so I went home and researched the cookies options. I have not made that particular cookies in the past. After finding a recipe that I felt would be best, I dive into the kitchen and got to work. All my thoughts, all my anxiety, the stress of the adult life had melted away to the corner while I pour my heart into the cookies making. I brought in the cookies to the barbershop and they again couldn’t believe how delicious it was. The owner made a comment that they’ll pay for my work into my cookies making because it was so good.

    I would like to leave you with the classic chocolate chip cookies recipe that is popular in my kitchen.

    NOTE –

    • Tablespoon = TBSP
    • Teaspoon = TSP

    Chocolate Chip Cookies

    • 1 cup (two sticks) of unsalted butter, soften
    • 3/4 cup – sugar
    • 3/4 cup – brown sugar
    • 1 tsp – vanilla extract
    • 2 – eggs
    • 2 1/4 cup – flour
    • 1 tsp – baking soda
    • 1/2 tsp – salt
    • 2 cups – chocolate chips

    Optional –

    1 cup – chopped nuts

    DIRECTION

    HEAT 375 degrees — Bake for 8 to 10 minutes

    1. Beat butter, sugar, brown sugar, and vanilla extract until creamy.
    2. TIP – When your cracking eggs, please make sure its in a small bowl so if there are shells, your not fishing in the bowl for them or having to dump the whole mixture. Once you confirm there are no shells in the bowl, One egg at a time adding to the mixture until it is mixed well.
    3. In a medium size bowl, stir together of flour, baking soda and salt.
    4. Gradually beat together by add the dry ingredients little at a time to the butter mixture until its gone so there are no clumps of dry ingredients.
    5. If your using the mixture machine, take the bowl out and use your own spoon to stir chocolate chips and nuts, if desired. Here is my secret, I dump the whole 12 ounces (12 oz) bag of chocolate chip in. I completely ignore the 2 cup instruction.
    6. Drop by teaspoon size onto ungreased cookie sheet. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until its lightly golden brown colored on these beautiful cookies.
    7. Before transferring it to the cooling rack, wait around 5 minutes.
    8. Transfer the cooling rack and let it cool completely or gobble them as they cooled on the cooling rack if you couldn’t wait like me.

    You have accomplished creating this insanely gooey goodness in your kitchen.

    Enjoy!

  • Junior High School Trip Gone Wrong

    Junior High School Trip Gone Wrong

    On June 9, 1994, I was in my first year of Junior High. The whole junior high was going on a field trip to the Jamestown beach in Rhode Island. We plan to spend a whole day there so the excitement was buzzing. The whole junior high was actually only 4 classes. That is how small our junior high were. That day was beautiful with soft blue sky with some clouds but the sun was shining bright. The temperature was just perfect for beaching day. The waves had some small ocean foams. There was some boats docking while others were moving around.

    By the teachers’ order, each students were grouped in 3 or 4 to keep each other safe and accountable. I remember I was having a blast and I could stay in the water all day if I could. I kept sinking my head under the water and swim like I was a mermaid and/or I was just chatting away with my friends like teens would do.

    I remember I was probably 15 inches deep into the green and blue colored ocean when I saw a good friend of mine was holding her bleeding elbow. She explained to me that there was something in the general area that have cut her and she has no idea what it was. Even though, it was only 15 inches deep into the water, we were unable to see the ocean floor so we had to rely on our feet to feel our way around. I remember asking her if she was okay which she told me she was. I do remember taking one step forward in front of that friend who was standing on the right side of me watched me launch forward into the water. As the water was hitting my face and going deeper into the water, I felt something spiky like there was a porcupine was in the water like they were burrow in the ocean sand. I immediately thought this was very odd because I didn’t think porcupine go into the water, and I don’t seem to remember seeing one out in the wild in the state of Rhode Island but that is exactly how it felt as it slash across my foot. I also felt my right hand was stabbed by something and I decided to get out of the water without telling my group to see what was happening. I wanted to check myself to make sure I was okay.

    As I was walking out of the water, I saw a car was pulling in the parking lot and I recognize couple staff that exited out of the car from the school. They were walking toward to other teachers. I was nearly out of the water when I heard tons of screaming behind me yelling either at me or at the teachers. I cannot tell you because I was looking ahead. I’m legally hard of hearing which thankfully wasn’t wearing hearing aids at the time. Next thing I know, the teachers and staff change their direction and start sprinting toward me. They looked me over to make sure I was okay and that when they found my right foot was bleeding heavily. They helped me walk over to the shower to clean as much as we could. After inspecting my cut, they decide it was best that I was taken to the school so they could contact my mother at work. So while I was in the staff backseat of the car, I became instant popular because they wanted to see my bloody cut that was displaying openly at the side window. They claim they saw blood gushing out and they could see my bones. I had to tell them to stop telling me that because it was making me feeling nausea.

    At the walk in clinic with my mother, I had to get my cut cleaned out several times because there was some beach sands got in pretty good by using the x-ray of some kind to detect sands. After the sands were completely gone, I was being sew together. I was not permitted to take shower for 2 weeks but I had to go back to the doctor office to make sure I was healing nicely.

    At a week and half later appointment, the doctor was in shock and disbelief at how fast I was healing and there was a string that the doctor couldn’t get it off so it is still there today. My skin healed over it and it have become part of me now. With the doctor’s permission, I was able to go back to school with ugly grey boot while my other foot had sneaker on and the shower were thumb up.

    When I went back to school, the friends and the teachers were relieve to see that I was okay. I was told by several people, there was a teacher’s son and a different student who also got cut after I left. I was only one that got severely injured but for the others, they were very minor. My homeroom teacher who recommended this beach went after the town and took them to the court. I do not know the result of the case but I somehow remember that the beach did get cleaned up in the end.

    Happy 30 year anniversary, Jamestown Scar.

  • So Many Changes

    So Many Changes

    Hello, Everyone.

    I have not gone anywhere … well, I’ve moved to another state in United State of America. I’ve made a huge decision by moving from state of Massachusetts to Illinois in Sept 2023. My adult children decided to join me in November, 2023 which makes this Momma very happy. I cannot express how much that means to me as a Mom and the relationships that I have with them.

    Since the last post from 2019 post to currently 2024, I became victim of an abuse, made new friends locally where I previously co-owns a home, became homeless then I’ve bounced house to house for only during winter months, homeless shelter in different town in a undisclosed location, made new friends, divorced from my partner being finalized, first apartment, and a mini job at barber shop that became my family, dating world which result wasn’t successful which was fine because I was exploring what was out there and I’ve decided to focus on myself again, then the big move decision that was something I needed. As of April 30, 2024, I’ve suspended my Facebook and I honestly don’t know when or if I’ll go back to the Facebook.

    After my children joined me here in Illinois in November, 2023, our lives were starting off pretty rocky. Our cat, Stonie’s health have declined very quickly after the arrival. Stonie was taken to vets, and 24 hours emergency several times. He unfortunately passed away 2 weeks later. Stonie was grey cat (We strongly believe he was an Russian Blue ) who lived until he was 18 years old. Stonie is a big traveler in his lifetime and he was loved by Allister who is my first oldest child. They were inseparable since they were tiny together and I’ve never seen a strong bond than these two had for each other. About 3 weeks later after passing of Stonie, we brought home 2 beautiful cats from local shelters and these two cats have bonded very quickly. They definitely keep this house entertaining and the house feels light again. Our newest cats names are Calcifer and Ash. Calcifer’s name came from the tv show called, ” Howl’s Moving Castle. ” which was named by Allister. I’ve brought home a cat and his name is Ash. I’m a big fan of a tv show called, Supernatural so that’s where Ash name came from.

    Ash is grey and white cat. We actually do not know what breed he is but I’ve brought the DNA for him. I’ll be getting the result in few weeks. What are your guesses?

    Cal (aka Calcifer) is black and white cat that resemblance Tuxedo breed.

    It is getting late here and I think its time to pull out a string play for them to prey on.

    Until next time . . .