DeafAmanda

Tag: Story

  • Over the Armrest

    Over the Armrest

    As I was thinking about what to write next, one memory came back to me. It made me smile because I still remember it so clearly.

    It happened during one of my flights. I’ve always been weirdly comfortable traveling alone. There’s something freeing about navigating airports, finding my gate, and making my way from one place to another by myself.

    Because I’m Deaf, I was able to board a little earlier than everyone else. It gave me a chance to settle in before the rest of the passengers arrived. I grabbed everything I thought I’d need during the flight from my bag underneath the seat and tucked it into the seat-back pocket. That way, I wouldn’t have to keep reaching underneath my seat throughout the flight.

    A few minutes later, a couple boarded with their beautiful baby, and the father took the seat next to me. Before takeoff, I let him know there might be some turbulence and to be careful so the baby wouldn’t go flying out of their arms. That’s just my motherly instinct kicking in.

    After we took off, I reached into the seat-back pocket and pulled out a word search book I had picked up back in 2023. Since my phone wouldn’t be working and there weren’t any entertainment screens attached to the seats, I came prepared. Then again, growing up as an ’80s kid, I learned how to entertain myself. If my sisters didn’t want to play and I wasn’t interested in watching television, I always found something to do.

    I opened my word search book and started hunting for words, checking them off as I found them. Before I knew it, the father pointed out one I had completely missed. I smiled and circled it. I could tell he was a little nervous about pointing it out, and honestly, I wasn’t expecting anyone to help. To be even more honest, I had no idea he had been looking at my puzzle in the first place.

    After helping me find a few more words, I noticed he seemed to relax. He started enjoying himself, going back and forth between helping me with the puzzle and helping the baby’s mother whenever she needed him.

    I found myself enjoying his help more than I expected. It was the first time anyone had looked over and simply joined in. He already knew I was Deaf because I always tell the people sitting next to me at the beginning of a flight. I don’t want anyone to think I’m ignoring them or mistake my silence for being rude. Once or twice, he’d gently tap my shoulder to let me know the flight attendant was trying to get my attention.

    I appreciated that more than he probably realized. A gentle tap on the shoulder is a respectful way to get a Deaf person’s attention. Communication doesn’t always happen through spoken words. Sometimes it’s writing, texting, gestures, or simply facing the person while speaking at a normal pace. Every Deaf or hard of hearing person communicates differently, so the best thing you can do is be patient and find the method that works best for both of you.

    We flew through quite a few pages together. There was one puzzle where I found a word he had been searching for, and he immediately let me know, “I was trying to find that!” I couldn’t help but laugh. Then there was another word that completely stumped both of us. We searched around and around that puzzle for what felt like five or ten minutes before one of us finally spotted it. We both chuckled when we finally found it. It felt like a little victory.

    At one point during the flight, my back started bothering me, so I shifted around in my seat, trying to get comfortable. When I went back to the puzzle, he even helped hold the book steady while we searched for more words. We just kept checking them off, one after another.

    As we started getting ready to land, I began feeling the familiar pressure building in my ears. I reached for the gum I had tucked into the seat-back pocket before takeoff. Chewing gum has always helped me during takeoff and landing, a little tip my ex shared with me years ago that has almost always worked. This time, though, it wasn’t doing its job. I rubbed my ears, hoping the pressure would ease, but nothing seemed to work.

    Once we landed, we stayed seated while everyone waited to get off the plane. While we were still sitting there, the father typed a message on his phone thanking me. He told me he had a really good time helping with the word search and that it made the flight pass quickly. We talked for another minute before everyone stood up. He gathered his family, and I stayed behind to grab my luggage.

    A little later, after I got into the terminal, I saw him again. He was standing with the baby near the restroom while, I’m assuming, the baby’s mother was inside. As I walked by, I smiled and waved.

    Then I turned my head, looked straight ahead, grabbed my suitcase, and my walking speed immediately picked up. The wheels rattled loudly across the floor as I wove through the crowd. I didn’t care how loud my suitcase was. I made my way through the sea of people until I finally reached the lobby, where I found a place to wait and called my Uber.

    Even though I had flown before 2021, I noticed something about myself. Whenever I’m traveling with someone else, I naturally slow my pace to match theirs. There were a few times in 2023, and again this year in 2026, when I found myself absolutely zooming through the airport. I honestly don’t know why I do that.

    I do know that in 2026, I was heading home to my children.

    Even though they’re adults now, they’ll always be my babies.

    To the dad who shared a word search with me, thank you. I don’t know your name, and maybe I never will. That’s okay.

    I’ll always remember the stranger who shared a word search with me while we flew somewhere above the clouds. It was one of the most enjoyable plane rides I’ve ever had.

    I hope life has been kind to you and your family.

  • The Rainbow Duck

    The Rainbow Duck

    I’ve always attended birthday parties for family members while growing up, but I still remember the first birthday party I was invited to by a friend. It was held at a roller-skating rink, and to this day, I remember how much fun I had.

    One detail especially stands out. Instead of filling the goodie bags with candy or small toys, they gave out books. I loved the idea. In fact, that gift is what started my reading journey. My first book was from the Goosebumps series. I think it was Stay Out of the Basement, though I can’t say for certain.

    I also remember watching my friend sit in the spotlight while everyone gathered around for cake and presents. At the time, I considered them one of the popular kids, and if I’m being honest, I felt pretty cool being friends with them.

    As the years went by, birthday invitations continued to arrive from time to time, and I started wanting a birthday party of my own. I remember talking about it with family members, but the response was usually the same. Since my birthday falls in August, it would be difficult to organize.

    Looking back, I can understand some of the challenges. This was long before texting, social media, and smartphones. Everything revolved around landline telephones. To invite classmates, we would have needed their phone numbers. Since I attended a Deaf school, most of my friends were Deaf and/or hard of hearing, making party invitations much more complicated than simply picking up a phone. As a child, I didn’t think much about those obstacles. I just knew I wanted a birthday party like everyone else.

    Family members would sometimes stop by with a gift or two, but there was never a cake, decorations, or anything that felt like a celebration.

    As a child, watching other family members be celebrated while feeling overlooked left a mark on me emotionally. Looking back, it contributed to a feeling that I wasn’t particularly special at home or at school. I carried a lot of sadness and anger growing up. There were many layers to those feelings, but that’s a story for another day.

    A few months before my 30th birthday, I shared those feelings with my partner at the time. They already knew much of what I had experienced over the previous decade, so I hoped they would understand.

    Instead, they looked at me and said, “If you want a birthday party, then you can buy the decorations, the cake, and host it yourself. You pay for it.”

    I was stunned.

    Not long afterward, a family member announced plans to celebrate their birthday. I immediately canceled the idea of having my own. At the time, I felt like I would be copying them, and I didn’t want my birthday viewed that way. I never brought it up again.

    Years later, sometime between my 30th and 40th birthdays, I watched other family members host birthday parties for different relatives. They went out of their way to make people feel celebrated and special. I was genuinely happy for them, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t stir up old feelings, too.

    Then my 40th birthday started approaching.

    A good friend invited me on a trip outside of the United States. I rushed out to get my very first passport and booked my round-trip ticket. As it turned out, the trip landed during my birthday week. At some point, I casually mentioned to my friend that I would be turning 40 that year.

    Today, when I walk into my bathroom and see the rainbow-haired white duck sitting by the sink, or when I’m sitting at my computer and notice the rainbow pencil she gave me, I can’t help but smile. They are small reminders of a moment that meant far more than the gifts themselves.

    My friend secretly organized a surprise birthday party at a nearby pub with a group of new friends.

    I had absolutely no idea.

    Even now, writing about it brings tears to my eyes.

    It was the very first birthday party that was created just for me.

    A birthday party.

    For me.

    For the first time, I felt special.

    For the first time, I felt seen.

    JO, I don’t think you’ll ever truly know how much that meant to me. I was completely speechless.

    Thank you.

  • Exhausted, healing, and still showing up

    Exhausted, healing, and still showing up

    In the beginning of January, 2025 of this year, I came up with the word, Optimistic for my word of the year. That word pretty much went through the window like it was a trash. There was many struggles, frustration, self-bullying, anxiety loads and I mean anxiety LOADS, and there are definitely depression tangle in this mess. There was struggles with mental, physical and spiritual.

    As I write on December 2nd, I felt that I couldn’t continue to write because I was honestly tired coming here to write negative things that was happening in my life. I just wanted it to stop.

    I will celebrate my small wins such as …

    One breakthrough I had was with myself: I built confidence in my gaming skills. I learned how to use a new controller, and I taught myself how to play using a keyboard and mouse in game mode. That may sound small to some people, but it mattered to me.

    I had a break-through with myself that I picked up a painting kit which will be gifted to this nice person. I am proud of my work and I’m getting good compliment. To be honest, as I painted and putting them together, I was going through lot of negative emotions. It doesn’t matter what craft projects I had in my hand, I was told it was a kid project. I had a lot of stiff-ness moment where I just can’t move. I told myself through this journey, ” He is not here and F U!” This is my apartment. He isn’t allowed here. I can do whatever I want. I saw my friend made beautiful art project and she seems really enjoying it. As I put them together, I find myself enjoying it as well. Thank you Friend!

    gifting a Highland Cow to a friend

    I have lost my 3rd baby back in 2009.

    Sometime around 2018, I met a sweet woman through the cyber world who had lost her son, Johbis. Johbis lost his life to AVM. He was only four years old. I remember how deeply it impacted me, and I told her I would help share his tribute.

    That promise was shut down immediately by my ex—who was my husband at the time—when he refused to purchase the dinosaurs that were meant to be attached and shared. But I promised myself that one day, somehow, I would get them out into the world. I held onto those memory cards close to my heart for years.

    Today, I finally did it.

    I purchased the dinosaurs, attached them, bagged them, and they are ready to go the next time I head out.

    Johbis Keita
    November 1, 2013 – March 15, 2018
    You are forever remembered.
    ROAR! (It means “I love you.”)

    In the past six months, I’ve been struggling with insomnia and trying my best to manage it. But in the last two of those months, my body hit a wall—I just couldn’t keep fighting it. I even had to stop physical therapy because I kept canceling appointments. I knew I needed to continue, but canceling over and over didn’t feel right, so I stepped back entirely. My sleep cycle completely unraveled: I’d stay up all night and sleep during the day, which eventually turned into four hours at night and four hours during the day. That chaotic pattern lasted about three weeks, but thankfully I’m finally back to a regular sleep schedule.

    Today, it is Jan 9, 2026 ….

    damn, its 2026. Its 2026?! Time flies!

    Happy New Year.

    Right before Christmas, I had to go to ER due to suspecting a possible strep throat so I needed the prescription for it. I was definitely not expecting to discover I have been busted by COVID. I had escape COVID for 5 years so this is my very first COVID experience. I am not liking this one bit at all. Moly!

    I’m negative now, but there are lingering effects: extreme exhaustion after even small activities like washing dishes, and a cough that refuses to leave. Luckily, I already have a doctor’s appointment later this month for something else, so we’ll address it then.

    One day at a time.

    The reason I have this photo is because I was in communication with my sister to show her that I am, in fact, in ER. I wanted her to know every medical I have so when I cannot speak for myself, she is well-informed and aware of what I want. I love you, Sis!

    December 28th, we lost another family member that has me stunned, and surprised. You really don’t know your tomorrow. Appreciate the minute, the hour, and the day as long as you take the next breath. I will embrace knowing that he is now with his son, JT who we lost back in April, going to fishing together again and share some laugh.

    Uncle Johnny

    As for my 2026, I have found my word of the year and I felt it was time for me to let things go. I feel ready. This is going to be a difficult year for me because I am going to have to face and confront those negative things that I held to close. It needs to go. It is time for me to release them and receive the good things. Acknowledging the things that I ” deserve ” them is going to be hard. I can flat out saying this because I don’t think I deserve any of it. I have been told I am amazing. I have been told I am good person, or a friend to them. I have been told I do amazing job. But those words, I quickly throw them under the rug because I don’t think I am that person. I never think I am a good enough. I never think I am equal. It is time to release those negative feeling and say yes, I am enough. It is time to ” RELEASE ”

    Now I need to kick this COVID out of my body and rest up.

    Before I go, I want to acknowledge that today—January 9th—is my oldest’s birthday. Out of respect for my children’s wishes, I won’t share any details. I’ll simply say this: Happy Birthday, Mini-Me. I love you always.

    Thank you for choosing to read my blog today.

    ROAR,

  • April Held a Mirror

    April Held a Mirror

    As April has arrived, I had made an appt. with a local hair salon because in the month of March, I felt I needed something to look forward to. Off I went to the hair place and got my hair done, I asked how much the cost it was, the person who was cutting my hair said it has been paid for by another customer. I was shocked and surprised that this customer was kind enough to pay. Whoever this person is and if she is reading this – Thank you.

    In the month of April was filled with contacting doctors and health insurances which have left me anxiety, confusion, lost, frustration, and overwhelming. I finally reached out to a very good friend who direct me to a right direction. Thank you, friend!

    I had one morning where I vividly remembered a dream that left me feeling deeply sad, incredibly angry, oddly understanding—and then suddenly, a lightbulb went off. I realized certain emotional triggers that explained why I felt the way I did. Life threw me into situations that left me filled with worry, distraction, distress, and a fragile sense of hope. I tried to stay optimistic, to look on the bright side, but was only met with loss and despair. There was no space to grieve. Instead, I channeled my grief into more worry, helplessness, and fear especially the fear of losing someone else. For eleven months, I watched a loved one’s health deteriorate before my eyes, just as you did. And just as they began to recover—just as I finally started to come up for air, to breathe, to relax—my world was turned upside down once again by the unexpected.

    I am angry that I wasn’t supported or even acknowledged for trying to maintain a positive attitude while negativity hovered over all of us for three years. I was already struggling with depression and anxiety, but I held on. I stayed strong as I could. The willingness to throw our relationship away is something I can’t understand. I gave my adulthood to this. I gave praise. I offered support. I encouraged. I had your back. I was grateful we could provide a home for three others, including their beautiful dog. I was grateful we had a yard where the kids could run free. I was grateful we had a space where family and friends could gather. But then, I was thrown off a cliff—left to see if I could swim.

    Well, I am swimming but without you by my side.

    I’ve endured so much over the past five years—more than you’ll ever know. And the strength I found didn’t come from you. It came from those who stood behind me. People became more supportive than you ever were. They showed me resources. They praised me in ways I never experienced with you. I am, and will never be, perfect. I have flaws. I’ve made mistakes, and I own them.

    You. I can only wish you the best—and send my love from afar. But I’m done. Done supporting you. Done praising you. Done having your back. Now, I can only watch as you face the consequences of your choices. I wish you luck and happiness… from afar.

    Ash waiting for his dinner

    I ordered my very first bookshelf and put them together with the help of my son. I was enjoying my time with my boy while dealing with sciatica but I kept going. As the result was done, I was able to store things and free up space which left me proud, self-praising, and the view of my children’s face at the result was more than enough. As I fall asleep at night now, I find myself making goals, making the list, and just smiling. I’ve toss out so many things which have left me feeling freeing, uplift, and again, making more goals completed.

    I woke up to a message one morning which I was face-smacked that a family member has passed away and I had no idea he was fighting with a intense medical condition. I grieved and remembered different things throughout the week.

    I celebrated few April birthdays with new friends that I’ve made on Twitch. In the month of April, I was suppose to be in Baltimore, MD but I didn’t book the plane tickets, reserve the stay or anything like that because I had several layers of reasons that held me back. It was really weird staying home while my Legal Shield family went. As I read their experiences, and their achievements, I can’t help but feel excited for them. I am sending my love. I miss you guys. I had an doctor appointment that I couldn’t avoid but went anyway. I made a different referral appointment, finally, for my sciatica so I’m looking forward to see what can be done to improve my health. That would be in May sometime. I ended the month with my son wanting a haircut so off to the kitchen we went.

    You are valid. You are enough. You are you and no one could ever be you.

    Thank you for reading my story.

    With love,

  • February and March, 2025

    February and March, 2025

    February and March for me has brought so many different things such as emotions, mental, and the unexpected.

    The month of February was filled with promoting awareness to the hearing streamers that Deaf people do stream their games on Twitch. I also encouraged many streamers to turn on closed captioning. There was many hearing streamers who had no idea there was closed captioning feature after streaming for several years. I could see the excitement that they were able to give accessibility to Deaf and Hard of hearing community as well as people with different medical reasons who heavily rely on closed captioning as well. I ended the month with one amazing streamer’s help getting myself, and 3 other Deaf streamers to become affiliated with Twitch. Thank you, Sojah.

    I aim to create a space in the cyber world where deaf, hard-of-hearing, and hearing people can connect and share experiences. I also hope that by coming together, we can learn from one another and grow as a community. This is no easy task, as many deaf and hard-of-hearing individuals have encountered negative experiences with hearing people. It’s not just a single event that shapes their perspective—it’s repeated instances of frustration, anger, and the gradual loss of hope. I have experienced this myself as a Deaf/Hard-of-Hearing person.

    In a different setting, I came across a group of hearing people who showed interest and wanted to learn, which inspired me to seek out a welcoming community on Twitch. I have since connected with an amazing group of hearing individuals and have been introducing both hearing and Deaf people to shared spaces. Slowly, I am seeing relationships bloom, which makes me very happy. I know this will take time, and I am fully aware of that. I hope that anyone reading this will be patient with Deaf and Hard of Hearing individuals, understanding that trust takes time to build. For hearing people, please know that it is not directed at you personally, but rather, you are part of a larger journey of understanding and inclusion.

    During the month of working hard to raise awareness, we came across to a whole week of Polar Vortex during the week of 16th to 19th which was a interesting experience. We had to do certain things to make sure we don’t have burst pipes and keeping ourselves warm. We made it through without a issue, thankfully.

    Toward the end of the month, I had my first appointment with a primary doctor here in Illinois. We discussed both my physical and mental health, and I was finally able to get back on the medication I needed to help manage my depression and anxiety.

    March was a month filled with day-to-day struggles of sciatica pain and the weight of depression, taking me to a very dark place as my body adjusted to new medication. February 28th marked the birthday of my best friend, who is no longer here. In her memory, I had a Kraft mac and cheese box with a side of chicken nuggets for dinner that night, a small tribute to our relationship.

    March 6th was both the birth and death anniversary of my third baby. I spent the day in bed, overwhelmed and drowsy from my medication. During the first two weeks of the month, I made phone calls to schedule the appointments my doctor had advised me to make. Each call felt like an uphill battle, but I pushed through.

    On March 14th, I heard the tornado sirens blare, followed by my phone urgently warning me to find shelter. A few days later, I learned that a tornado had touched down in the next town over—where I used to live. Depending on the reports, it was classified as either an F2 or F3. I remember the terror of that night, huddling in one room with my children and two cats, hoping we would all be safe.

    We celebrated my 2nd child’s birthday to a Wendy’s dinner for 20th birthday. Out of respect, I won’t detail anything. Just wanted to say, “I love you, kid. “

    As March was getting closer to the end, I knew I needed something to look forward to, I pick up the call to a local haircut place and made appt that happen to be on April 1st.

    In February and March, I watched a TV show called The Haven, which has a supernatural theme combined with a touch of Chicago Police vibes. I thought the show was really good, though a bit predictable at times. The Haven has five seasons and is set in Maine, USA.

    Out of curiosity, I looked up whether Haven, Maine, was a real place, but I couldn’t find it. However, I did come across North Haven, Maine, in Knox County, which I found interesting. Based on the Google images, it looks like a beautiful place.

    As The Haven wrapped up its final season, I found the ending quite intriguing. It could have gone in many different directions, but they chose a specific conclusion—which I won’t spoil here. It’s definitely worth watching.

    Thank you for taking few minutes to read about my 2 months journey.

    To the next time,

  • Pier Dream …

    Pier Dream …

    I laid my head on the pillow as I tries to close my eyes. I pulled the blankets up to my shoulder and curled up because I was shivering a little bit. A vision appeared as if I was watching a movie and/or as if I was in it …

    . . .

    I sit at the pier in the dark, facing north, my feet dipping into the water. Dressed in a random T-shirt and rolled-up jeans to keep them dry, I take in the stillness of the night. Behind me, someone sits on the west side of the pier, silent, fishing, unwilling to talk.

    I watch the gentle sway of the trees and the mesmerizing ripples on the water as the sun sets, casting a calming glow. Swans, ducks, frogs, and crickets blend their sounds into the evening chorus, while fish swim happily beneath the surface. A deep sense of peace washes over me.

    I begin to ramble. Turning around, I see the person behind me—holding onto a quiet pain, unspoken yet heavy. They continue fishing, their focus unwavering. As I take in their breathtaking features, I notice something missing. The spark I once saw in them has faded.

    I spoke softly, my voice trembling. “All the blue chemical fire can come after me—all the painful words that have been spoken about how ugly I am.” My voice cracked. Emotion welled up, exposing the depth of my pain. I struck a match, and it flared to life with a vivid blue flame. It clung to the stick, dancing hypnotically. “They can tell me I have a big nose or eyes that look too Chinese. They can say I’ll never achieve my dream job. That I’ll never thrive as a Deaf person. All the hate lingers in the air—because that’s the air we breathe—and this blue fire burns everywhere around us.”

    I dipped my hand into the lake, then lifted it, extending a silent gesture—one of longing, of waiting for someone to take my hand. But no one did. Water dripped onto the pier below.

    I continued speaking softly. “That blue fire.” I paused for only a moment before continuing. “It stops with me.” Steadying my voice, I found strength in my words. “I won’t spread more of that blue fire. All the hatred that pierced into me—some like sharp knives slicing deep, others like dull blades leaving aching wounds, the blood of their cruelty oozing from within. The punches that landed against my body, the screams that rang in my ears, the hateful words spat directly in my face—it all stops with me.” I turned to the flickering blue flame and blew. The fire went out.

    Standing up, I looked at the person who hadn’t moved an inch. I reached for their hand, drawing their attention. They reeled in their fishing line and set it down gently, their expression a mix of confusion and curiosity. Without a word, I pulled them behind me, leading them to the edge of the pier where sand met wood.

    Letting go, I crouched down, picking up two stones and some tinder, attempting to spark a fire. The person behind me shifted to my right, watching intently yet still lost in confusion. I switched to rubbing two sticks together, growing frustrated as nothing ignited. Sensing my struggle, they bent down, ready to help—but I caught their hand and shook my head. No.

    I looked into their beautiful, searching eyes. Slowly, I moved my hand from their arm to my chest. And from within me, I pulled out a fire—not blue this time, but red, dancing and alive in my palm. Their eyes widened in shock, confusion deepening at the impossibility of it. Without hesitation, I moved my hand toward their chest and tapped. The red fire disappeared into them.

    I whispered, “Sorry for the off-key.” Then, without warning, I sprang to my feet, ran to the edge of the pier, arms wide open, and shouted with every ounce of feeling I had left, “I am Titannnnniummmmm!” A burst of energy exploded beneath me, expanding like a bubble, enveloping both me and this beautiful soul. The wind roared, lifting my hair as it danced wildly around me.

    As I walked back, I saw them standing there—wearing a sweater, jeans, and a cap. Our eyes met. From a short distance away, I lifted my hands to the sky and shouted, “You’ve got fireworks! You have the dream—now run toward it! RUN!”

    . . .

    Back at the house, lying on my bed, I suddenly opened my eyes and whispered as if they were in the same room, as if they could hear me.

    “You are titanium.”

    My heart burst with belief, sending it their way.

    Thank you for taking the time to read my daydream story—one that appeared to me out of nowhere. I simply wanted to share it with you, my readers. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed bringing it to life.

    With love,

    SONGS: Madilyn Bailey “Titanium” ** Katy Perry “Fireworks”

    NOTE: I use chatgpt for grammar work to help me tell the story better. The vision / story is mine.

  • Bumpy November, 2024

    Bumpy November, 2024

    Hey Readers,

    I want everyone to know I am okay.

    I have been hanging around Twitch and Tubi. I have been fighting this infection for 3 months trying to get it reduced to a bearable level and/or have it disappeared. We couldn’t get it disappeared because it was definitely fighting back. I’m now slowly regaining my energy back because I finally had that operation in the third week of November.

    Right before November began, I ordered a Yorkie bar—a chocolate that’s only available in the UK. Fun fact: Yorkie bars were once marketed as being “not for girls.” But, being the rebel I am, I ignored that ridiculous idea and bought some anyway. They arrived on the day of my surgery, so I had to wait until a few days after Thanksgiving to finally try them. Let me tell you, that chocolate was so good. I’m honestly shocked they’re not available in the U.S. If you haven’t tried a Yorkie bar, I highly recommend it—it’s worth every penny. You can find them on Amazon. And no, I’m not talking about York Peppermint Patties. Yorkie bars are a whole different vibe—no mint, just pure chocolate goodness!

    Image

    After monitoring for about a month, I ended up taking my Ash to a 24-hour clinic. His bathroom didn’t look healthy, and while he was eating, drinking, playing, and sleeping as usual, something just felt off. I wasn’t sure if it was something to really worry about, so I called the clinic to discuss whether there was anything I could do at home. They recommended bringing him in for a check-up, so off we went the next day.

    Three weeks later, with no improvement, I had to take him back. The vet suggested running some tests if things hadn’t improved, so that’s what we did. Thankfully, all the results came back good, but they didn’t fully answer my concerns. However, one test revealed something unexpected: my Ash is asthmatic. This diagnosis was a bit of a surprise, but it’s good to have some answers. Now, all I ask is for you to send some good vibes his way. My little guy could use them as we navigate this together.

    Image
    I thought it was cute Snapchat filter photo of Ash.

    My children and I had our turkey meal day on Saturday and it was a good day overall. We had ours early due to the room in the fridge. I knew if we waited until Thursday, the turkey wasn’t going to make it. I am proud of my oldest kid dong the turkey all themselves. We had turkey, hawaiian stuffing, smash potatoes, corn, and let’s not forget gravy. After dinner was made, we had a good several hours of just chatting with each other and enjoying each other’s company. We were too stuffed to have any dessert but we did have apple pie with vanilla ice cream the next day.

    How was your Turkey Day go? Who did you share your meals with?

  • My Sept and October, 2024 update

    My Sept and October, 2024 update

    Hello, Readers.

    I am here to update what have been happening in my world for 2 months now. There isn’t really much to tell, quite honestly. This is still ongoing battle with the infection. The infection has been really kicking my energy out, that for sure. My children have step up in the kitchen and I’m grateful.

    My little Ash is increasing his cuddle-ness. This morning, Ash decided to plop himself on my chest for the first time so I was definitely excited about that. I’m looking forward to seeing more Ash and me time together.

    Ash. ❤

    We’re noticing both cats, Ash and Calcifer (Cal) are starting to put themselves into our social chat moments. (( Cal’s owner is by one of my children. We adopted both cats few days of each other. ))

    Calcifer (Cal)

    Since the energy has been drained, I have been enjoying TV shows such as, “Long Lost Family (UK) ” “The Floor ” “The Masked Singer ” ” Crime Scene Kitchen ” “The Quiz with Balls” “WildFire ” with Genevieve Padalecki in it along with probably 2 or 3 movies. In my watch list, there are no horror movies and/or TV shows. The last horror movie that I’ve watch are Joy Ride (2001) which I cannot remember what year I watched. At the time when I watch this movie, it triggered something in my mentally and I just couldn’t watch any horror movies after that. I did tempt ” Carrie ” movie either in 2012 or 2013. There was a scene in the movie that has police knocking their door, but my (ex) husband and I heard double knocks. We looked at each other questioning. It was late at night and our children were asleep. We were VERY unsure if that was a real life knock so we decided to pause the movie. He open the door and standing there was local police handing him a court order for his brother. (The brother was going through a divorce at the time.) Right after that, I was done. I just couldn’t continue to watch the Carrie movie. I was already intense because of the movie then having a real police officer showing up at our door was just little too much. The movie was turned off. No more horror stuff.

    I have hopped on Twitch world and watch streamer playing their games and I find myself really enjoying watching them. I’ve watch Deaf and Hearing streamers. There is a streamer that likes to do horror games, and I think his relaxing demeanor is helping me to be okay with it so far. There was a funny moment last night that he actually did a small jumped during the game of ” The Quiet Place: The Road Ahead ” and that send me laughter. I will admit, I do miss watching horror movies because my first horror movie was and I kid you not, ” IT ” as a child, probably seven? years old. I’m not quite sure of my age at the time but yup, I actually sat down with my sisters and watched the movie. (( I was told few years ago that my mother never allowed me to watch IT. OOPS! ))

    Alrighty, I’m going to hop off and get this posted. Please have a great Happy Halloween and please stay safe in the dark.

    My 21 years old is dressing up this year as Crowley from “Good Omens.” What are your planned to dressed up this year? Out of the years that you’ve dressed up, do you have a favorite costume? I would love to read your costume stories.