As summer ends and cold temperature will be here before we know it. Today, I’ve been reflecting on the definition of “family” in light of the upcoming holidays.

According to Google, family is defined as “a group of people related to one another by blood or marriage” and can also refer to “friends and family who provide support.”

Unfortunately, I don’t feel supported by many family members. Instead, I often encounter with silence until they wanted something from me, ghosting, criticism without constructive guidance, a dismissive ‘I know what I’m talking about’ attitude, eye-rolling, and comments like ‘you should have listened,’ all accompanied by a general negative vibe. Many people have doubted the stories I’ve shared, but when they see the evidence I present, their attitude shifts.

I have became fearful, unsure, low self-esteem, outspoken, frustrated, not being heard, very angry, rebellion, repeated the cycle of the same-ness situation that seem to be showing up over and over during my growing up. Honestly, looking back at my past, I dislike her so much to the point, it disgust me looking at myself in the mirror. However, I also recognize that some of my past behavior was understandable given the circumstances.

I know I am a human being and mistakes will be and has been made.

What I know now moving forward, I am and I have been making a lot of progress in my personal growth. In my previous state, I had an amazing support system. There was several different people sat down with me bringing certain things about me or the situation to my attention saying that isn’t right. Here what you can do if this is something you would like to do and they gave me options. What I discovered about myself is to talk them out then seeing what fits me best helps to shape my choices that I was willing to make. Understanding my past self has helped me identify behaviors I want to avoid.

So, as a supporter to myself and to my children, and as a family unit, I am taking what I know now and continuing moving forward, making an effort to become a better person both to those around me and in the cyber world and to be a better Momma. I plan to hold myself accountable and recognize that change is an ongoing process. I understand that evolving and improving is a continuous journey.

It’s never too late to make changes, regardless of your age. I want to encourage everyone to reflect on what type of person they want to be and consider the changes they are willing to make for themselves and those around them.